What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
I don't deserve a penis
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
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