You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I just want to do a slip-and-slide into a giant pool of jello shots right now.
She is wasted and this random lady got her to suckle milk from her tit
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
There's nothing more awkward than going on a beer run with 3 ten year olds....teacher of the year right here!
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
Randomize
