worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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