Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
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