seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just made out with a girl I dated in high school, and she told me her girlfriend likes me. I like where this is going.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
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