Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
Yes. Yes. Double yes. I'll bring the tits. You bring the frosting.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I do NOT want my proposal story to start "...he was peeing on me and then..."
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Randomize