we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
