everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I have his gate key so know he has to see me again.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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