I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
You yelled at me about a fork.
You probably deserved it, I'm very territorial about my cutlery.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
