Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Randomize
