yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
he shaved USA in his pubs
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
Heated debate on which is worse. Pissing your pants or puking all over yourself
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Aww his grandma died? That's sad! No mourning sex!!! That doesn't lead to good things!
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
