I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
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