he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
We left the knife in your bed.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
