he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
Chasing shots with airborne.. Gonna get rid of my sickness and my soberness.
Randomize
