pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
Randomize
