Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I stole a fireplace last night.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
By the end of our first date my penis was pierced.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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