What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
why is it that no matter what your novelty license plate says it always screams "im a huge tool"?
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Randomize
