I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
you did pass out in the elevator last night, so it could be motion sickness
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
Help. Why am I so naked?
Randomize
