I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
not only did i manage to get kicked out of the bar, i also got kicked out of denny's. i didnt even know that was possible.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
