Is it because I queefed?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
