You're a womanizer and a bitch.
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
Randomize
