He said he only talked to me because I talk dirty in bed.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
She even gives head with a lisp.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
