# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
You sealing the pinky promise with a shot was much better than just kissing it
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
