Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
Got drunk and tried to deep fry burritos. Turns out wild turkey isn't a good replacement for vegetable oil. Nearly burned my house down.
Sober people should be as daring as drunk people more often, because honestly the fact you’ve lived so long is a sign that anything is possible.
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
I just puked on a sprinkler…Motherfucker tried to spray me
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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