Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
