So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
Randomize
