Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
that almost beats the chick I saw smoking a joint while uni-cycling past my house at 4am. Almost.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
I am watching a girl dressed up as santa, full on fat suit, try to fight a six foot 200lb man. A reindeer threw beer on everyone. Shit is going down
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