Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
there was a trapeze. enough said
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
THE EAGLE HAS MY PANTIES. I REPEAT. THE FUCKING MASCOT HAS MY PANTIES.
HOLY SHIT. You're my hero.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
