I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
Come over we're drinking with orange soda as a chaser to honor 90s nick kenan and kel.
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
Think of it as a business transaction. That's how I justify all the horrible things I do. Blow my married boss? Just a business transaction.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
Randomize
