I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Randomize