I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
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