Who wears a wallet chain?!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize