I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
