ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
Exactly. This is the bit where I learn a heartwarming lesson about not making my drinks half vodka
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
Then James put his arms through the window and grabbed him, like he was Robocop. A nerdy, portly Robocop.
Who is this?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
