I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
