Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
