someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
He may or may not be blacked out. We put him to sleep in the community bathroom. He's wrapped in your blanket and he's already puked on it twice. Using your blanket was my idea. Maybe next time you'll ask before taking my vodka.
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I don't know what happened last night. But I just woke up in the high school boiler room
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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