im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
If there was a saddle on his sack, she would ride it.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
Randomize
