HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Before you even think your day was worse than mine, I had to disinfect and and stitch another dude's penis after his prince Albert got ripped out by an angry chick.
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
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