after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
You know, be my cock's hype man.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
