I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Leaving the dealer's house. He just gave me a sincere hug and said good luck. This cant end well.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
Also, I'm sewing my entire Halloween costume by hand. I better get laid at every single party I go to.
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
This is my gift to your gina
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize
