Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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