Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
There is a reason Crest White Strips don't list masturbation as one of the myriad of activities to do while whitening your teeth. A very good reason.
I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i just made my gag reflex go away.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Randomize