no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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