Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
He ate me out in the warehouse on a pallet of sunlight soap. I fucking love night shift!
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