How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
A black cat walked my drunken ass home last night and made sure I made it back into the apartment safe. Sat with me for 30 minutes as I struggled to unlock the door. Guardian angel or drunken hallucinations?
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
