who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
