Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
