You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
I just haymakered a dude with my face, can we talk about ME for a second and not the guy I fought?
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
