I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
Randomize