I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
you duct taped a twenty to your thigh just in case and passed out.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
Stop watching porn on my work computer.
STOP WORKING ON MY PORN COMPUTER.
I felt like a responsible adult. A responsible adult that may or may not end up shitfaced. But not heaving purple puke into a urinal like last time because I'm classy now.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
Randomize
