nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
