I wish i was in the wii world.
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
she told me she sucks everyone's dick but mine because mine is too big and "hard to suck" i need to reevaluate the girls i fall in love with.
I've never heard a "this is the reason why i dont suck your cock" explanation go in that direction
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
Learn from me. When going to a booty call do not wear a belly shirt. Nothing says shame like a belly shirt at 7am.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
