he showed up at my house with a hand-stiched sweater that said "girlfriend?"
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
Just traded a samurai sword for some drugs. It's gonna be one random ass night
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Randomize
