just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
Randomize
