hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
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