I showed him my bush... on skype.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
