Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
During your work shift I was either: a) stoned. b) high. c)stoned. or d) high.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Randomize
