My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm also sorry that I ate your chicken sandwich while you were throwing up....
I'm literally 40 minutes from where I was supposed to stay. I woke up in a parking lot.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
