Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
We stopped midfuck cuz a guy was walking his dog. Who the fuck walks their dog in the dorm parking structure at 3am!?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
my poor anus
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Randomize
