Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
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