I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Be still, my beating vagina.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
Randomize
