And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
Freshman just walked up and thanked me for letting him hide under my bed when the cops showed up to the house last weekend
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
Ive already seen two fights and a clown urinating in the middle of the street. Hello Halloween 2014.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
What's the tour de bar? Is that a thing, or is it just what you call Saturdays?
Randomize
